Next time you’re having a rough day, remember the hell Heidi went through that one fateful day while she perused the Hollywood walk of fame. There she was, just minding her own business, taking pictures of Drew Carey’s star and handprints when SPLAT! Hot diarrhea right to the face. It’s a tale as old as… Continue reading

When most people hear the word hero they think of one thing: A soldier. And rightfully so. But imagine a new kind of hero. A hero that fights for freedom right here at home. For a long time, as long as I can remember, the image of a female breast has long been censored, while… Continue reading

Halloween candy, much like people, are not all created equally. I should probably clarify that- that isn’t a racial joke, but more of a joke about there being so many fucking morons out there who probably shouldn’t count as real people. Anyway, there is a lot of dog shit candy out there, so let this… Continue reading

Great men have great dreams. Martin Luther King Jr. dreamed of racial equality. Larry Hagman dreamed of genie. Steve Jobs dreamed of patronizing his employees who make $12 an hour by calling them geniuses. And yours truly dreams of traversing planet Earth by jet ski. Obviously I have put a ton of thought into this… Continue reading

There are some videos that when you watch them it feels like you won the lottery. This is one of those videos. So from what I can tell this group of guys who sound like they’re from the Harry Potter movies, bought this babe a motorized wheelchair, presumably so they could get in her sweatpants.… Continue reading

To say that the Burger King and I have a strained relationship might be the understatement of the century. Everyone knows I think he’s a scumbag who makes some of the worst food on the planet. After trying the taco and his chicken parm diarrhea trio, I have incredibly low expectations for this one. One… Continue reading

OK, so maybe he didn’t do a full brown in his face, but still, a good headline is a good headline. I guess it’s true what they say, end up in the headlines for doing some nefarious shit and everyone you’ve ever wronged will come out of the woodwork to add onto it. This Dr.… Continue reading

Maybe the most Jets thing ever for a grown man to catch a kissing disease. As an NFL insider I’ve got the inside scoop on this pervert. In an effort to steal some of Tom Brady’s power this offseason the Jets thumb of a quarterback has begun doing Tom Brady’s daily routine. Eating like him.… Continue reading

So I sat down with some friends to watch the new Elton John movie and almost immediately a bomb was dropped on me. So let’s get that out of the way real quick. I was having a conversation with my one friend who just knows a lot about a ton of random shit. Me: “I… Continue reading

I first noticed this rug by following the late great Steve Martin on Twitter: Now I don’t know who Xu Bing is, but I can only imagine how disapointed his or her parents are right now. I mean, look at what my parents have to be proud of: I run an ultra successful blog, I’ve… Continue reading