OK, so maybe he didn’t do a full brown in his face, but still, a good headline is a good headline.

I guess it’s true what they say, end up in the headlines for doing some nefarious shit and everyone you’ve ever wronged will come out of the woodwork to add onto it. This Dr. is the latest in the Antonio Brown saga. And a lot of thoughts are racing through my head as my own personal history might come back to haunt me.

Is farting in someone’s face illegal? Because if that’s an actual crime I should be in jail. I can’t count on all of my extremities: fingers, toes and dick included how many times I’ve farted in someone’s face. There was a period of time in my life when I thought the benches in the boys locker room in high school were there so when someone is putting their shirt on I could jump up on it and fart in their face the moment their sight is free from the shirts constraints. I was personally responsible for what the CDC deemed a “sudden pink eye outbreak”. Should I be in jail for that? I don’t think so, this is America folks.

Farting in people’s faces is a tale as old as time. Jesus said, “Please kneel before me, so that I may bless upon your brain head and soul” and then he’d fart right in their dumb faces. Classic move Jesus, classic move. And you know what? None of those jabroni Apostles gave a shit, farts are funny.

I don’t think farting in people’s faces is wrong. And honestly, this doctor doesn’t deserve a dollar of what he is owed, he was paid in farts to the face by a famous athlete. That’s something you can tell the grandkids.