ScotchSquatch

Great men have great dreams. Martin Luther King Jr. dreamed of racial equality. Larry Hagman dreamed of genie. Steve Jobs dreamed of patronizing his employees who make $12 an hour by calling them geniuses. And yours truly dreams of traversing planet Earth by jet ski. Obviously I have put a ton of thought into this… Continue reading

There are some videos that when you watch them it feels like you won the lottery. This is one of those videos. So from what I can tell this group of guys who sound like they’re from the Harry Potter movies, bought this babe a motorized wheelchair, presumably so they could get in her sweatpants.… Continue reading

To say that the Burger King and I have a strained relationship might be the understatement of the century. Everyone knows I think he’s a scumbag who makes some of the worst food on the planet. After trying the taco and his chicken parm diarrhea trio, I have incredibly low expectations for this one. One… Continue reading

OK, so maybe he didn’t do a full brown in his face, but still, a good headline is a good headline. I guess it’s true what they say, end up in the headlines for doing some nefarious shit and everyone you’ve ever wronged will come out of the woodwork to add onto it. This Dr.… Continue reading

Maybe the most Jets thing ever for a grown man to catch a kissing disease. As an NFL insider I’ve got the inside scoop on this pervert. In an effort to steal some of Tom Brady’s power this offseason the Jets thumb of a quarterback has begun doing Tom Brady’s daily routine. Eating like him.… Continue reading

So I sat down with some friends to watch the new Elton John movie and almost immediately a bomb was dropped on me. So let’s get that out of the way real quick. I was having a conversation with my one friend who just knows a lot about a ton of random shit. Me: “I… Continue reading

I first noticed this rug by following the late great Steve Martin on Twitter: Now I don’t know who Xu Bing is, but I can only imagine how disapointed his or her parents are right now. I mean, look at what my parents have to be proud of: I run an ultra successful blog, I’ve… Continue reading

If you’re grandma lives in Fairfield Connecticut, she might be having wilder sex than you are. Now when I read that I assumed what you guys are. Old people are getting together and having boring old people sex. Cool cool cool. Then I kept reading. My lord. Five men and one woman. I don’t want… Continue reading

We’re all adults here. We’ve all had some sex. Some of us better than others, none better than mine. I’m not saying I’m the best at sex, but I’ve had a great time every time someone has let me plow down with them. I’ll be honest, when I first hatched the brilliant idea for this… Continue reading

Was just scrolling through Reddit while making a fresh batch of poopie shits and stumbled across this absolute gem of a find. I seriously need this. As someone who very rarely has to be somewhere at a specific time, I think this would be perfect for me. Imagine just having it up in your house… Continue reading