It has been a truly wonderful year here at TheScotchsquatch dot com. Sure there have been ups and downs, but what website hasn’t had it’s fair share of controversy? I’d like to shed some light on some of my ups and downs that you might not be aware of as well as rant a little… Continue reading

Mario mother fucking Batali. That human cranberry spritzer is the latest celebrity to be taken down a few pegs by some harassment and sex abuse claims. When Twitter started chirping late last night that a celeb Chef was about to get thrown into the mix I was positive it was going to be that little… Continue reading

Look at the face on this guy. That’s not only the face of someone who thinks the Earth is flat, but it’s also the face of someone who is going to ride a $20,000 homemade rocket right up into the sky. Mike Hughes, a 61 year old limo driver and amateur astronaut plans to use… Continue reading

I love the world of online dating. It’s a real hodge-podge of people awkwardly humble bragging, slight hints of racism, and of course my favorite- people with delusional expectations. Hand up, this is going to be super mean because I’m sort of hungover and I want to write mean things to make myself feel better.… Continue reading

Don’t let me get hot! Now don’t get me wrong, Blake Shelton is cute, but that’s where it stops. I for one wouldn’t even let him get the pipe, no matter how hard he was trying to get the pipe. There’s no way he’s the sexiest guy out there. Think about who else exists… Ryan… Continue reading

Great people will overcome great obstacles. That’s just the way life goes. Great people will always rise up and do great things. Richard Branson (dyslexic), Oprah (teen mom/weight issues), Jim Carrey (homeless), Michael J Fox (born back in time), Mozart (born without ears), The Dhali Llamma (born only with a robe), Tom Cruise (born a… Continue reading

So I really want to blog about the hit Netflix show Stranger Things because everyone else is. The only problem is I’ve never actually watched it. My roommates have watched it, so I’ve been in the room while it’s on, but instead of watching it I usually chose to use my time a little more… Continue reading

The rumors have been true, I, the Scotchsquatch, will be competing in a marathon on Sunday. Yes, a real marathon. It has been brought to my attention that I am thirty years old and I can’t party like I used to. So in the interest of competition and self betterment, I will be competing in… Continue reading

Yea, obviously I’m a little late on this, but whatever. It should be absolutely no surprise to you if you’ve been reading this thing for a while, that growing up I was a pretty big piece of shit. Now I’m not going to say that I took part in all of these activities, because I know… Continue reading

As most of you by now have read, I tried Chipolte for the first time last week and while I gave it a pretty good review, I really hammered home the disrespect I felt by them not offering me any cheese, it was my first visit after all. Well the loyal readers of The Scotchsquatch must be… Continue reading