The rumors have been true, I, the Scotchsquatch, will be competing in a marathon on Sunday. Yes, a real marathon. It has been brought to my attention that I am thirty years old and I can’t party like I used to. So in the interest of competition and self betterment, I will be competing in a marathon.

The Scumbag Marathon Challenge:

• The day is going to start off first thing in the morning with two magnum champagne bottles worth of mimosas.
• Lunch will be two 40’s of malt liquor, a blunt, and a pizza.
• Ejaculate once, dealers choice (probably smart to get this done early).
• A Case of beer to end the day.

I honestly don’t know whether or not that seems like a lot. We’ll be adding in small challenges through out the day as I will be live blogging it all the day of, and then the following day I will edit (sort of) and publish it right away.

I’ll be doing this with my favorite bender buddy, who I will refer to as BenderBuddy. Sure I know this is immature, stupid, and possibly dangerous. But whatever, I refuse to believe that the 19 year old me could out part 30 year old me. I have also decided to use the beer that I most likely would have been drinking when I was 19…

It’s light, refreshing, and with an ABV of roughly 4.6, I don’t think I’ll have a problem with this.

I’d say wish me luck but I don’t need it. Daddy’s got this.

Love you guys