ScotchSquatch

The creator of the Big Mac is dead at age 98. I will be starting a Go Fund Me to pay for the autopsy, because I’m obviously suspecting foul play. Does the Burger King or Wendy have an alibi? Where was the Colonel on the day of November 28th? Jim Delligatti of Pennsylvania was one… Continue reading

I don’t use this term lightly, so when I say hottest teacher on the planet I absolutely mean it. I’ll be honest, I didn’t think was true at first because I didn’t think Minsk, Belarus was a real place. I don’t know, it just sounded like a place made up for movies when the director wants the… Continue reading

Let’s start with the night before Thanksgiving, as this is a very important holiday as well. Even though you now see these people every year you’re going to need to get ready for the same old conversations. That one funny thing that happened in high school. That teacher you both had that was a total dick bag.… Continue reading

I’m going to start this off by saying I’m a big fan of Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson. When I was a kid I loved him as a wrestler and as an adult I’m still a fan of him as an action star. What I’m not a fan of is the phrase, President Dwayne ‘The Rock’… Continue reading

This is absolutely the best online dating power move of all time. Between Tinder, Match.com, Plenty of Fish, that one if you’re Jewish, Farmers Only, and Adult Friend Finder it’s pretty easy to get lost in the crowd when searching for a significant other. That’s why this young stud took the high road. He recorded a… Continue reading

Everyone should know how to properly defend themselves. There isn’t much worse than having the shit kicked out of you. And as someone who watches those Worldstar fight videos everyday I can without a doubt say most people don’t know how to defend themselves. Poland’s Army (yes, they have an Army, I checked) will be… Continue reading

Every day I wake up and read something that weirds me out so much that it amazes me. The joy I get from people doing such weird shit on the internet is unreal. Like this article I just stumbled across: Why? A million times why? What do you get out of owning these? What do… Continue reading

What a fucking title right? First let me say that taunting the homeless or fucking with them is a terrible thing. And before you jump on the all police are bad wagon you should know that it was his fellow officers that turned him in and ultimately a fellow officer that fired him. Seriously though, who… Continue reading

I just read way too much of an article claiming that there are hidden advertisements all over the internet that are targeting young fatsos. I haven’t wanted to yell ‘who the fuck cares?’ so loudly in a long time. Every three commercials is for fast food. Wendy’s, Taco Bell, McDonalds, Burger King; whatever, I’m home… Continue reading

Is Cam Newton really that confused as to why the refs don’t care that he gets starched every play after the whistle? He looks like someone who works at the photography place in the mall that takes his job super seriously. Just take the picture, I don’t need to hear about how you’re adjusting the exposure. That art… Continue reading