ScotchSquatch

We all have that one friend that is way too close with their family members. Maybe they tell them every single thing that happens in their life or maybe they just hug them for a little bit too long when they see each other. Those two things, I am barely OK with. What I am… Continue reading

No time for fancy introductions I’m just going to jump right into it. If I was a fan of the Atlanta Falcons I would burn their stadium to the fucking ground. Seriously, just keep running the ball and you’ve got yourself your first ever Lombardi trophy. Literally, just burn the clock out, waste some time.… Continue reading

SIDE NOTE: Turns out this was actually super fake. Whatever though, enjoy my thoughts on it anyway. Who knew shower drains couldn’t handle a few loads? I think it would actually be easier to just upgrade the plumbing to jizz grade pipes than it would be to try and stop college aged guys from jerking off.… Continue reading

It’s the day before the Super Bowl, so let’s get started. Without looking at their records or stats for the year this matchup has the feel of an older, much larger brother getting ready to beat the shit out of his kid brother for even thinking he’s allowed to play the same game. Tom Brady… Continue reading

It’s pretty much my mission to continually unroll new types of blogs that I probably won’t keep up with. This one is different, maybe, as I actually see myself keeping up with this one… maybe. Who knows right? Anyway, this is going to basically be me discussing (with myself?) daily events that don’t really warrant… Continue reading

The Pro Bowl was last night and while the AFC beat the NFC, we the viewers were the real losers. As someone who dies a little bit inside when the football season ends I watch the Pro Bowl every year as it’s the second to last football Sunday of the year. And that leaves a… Continue reading

Round two baby. The last Bag of Dicks© went to the lady who freed the 23 pound lobster, you can read about that by typing ‘bag of dicks’ into the little search bar in the right corner. Come on do it, you know you’ve always wanted to type ‘bag of dicks’… Alright, you’re all caught up now, so… Continue reading

It’s going to be a great couple of days. I know there wasn’t really anything bad in the news lately, so we can really just focus on the positives. Let’s start with this: Jennifer Aniston just landed herself a new facial care commercial. And judging from the commercial it’s a yogurt based topical ointment. The… Continue reading

  Just as the wounds from Harambe were starting to heal, another gorilla was found dead in the state of Ohio. It’s sort of becoming what Ohio zoos are known for. Another reason Ohio is the absolute worst (Fuck you Ohio State). Colo was the oldest gorilla ever and the first one to be born in… Continue reading

https://instagram.com/p/BPTmuhQDDhq/ This is a move I wholeheartedly respect. Sometimes you’ve just gotta jerk off. Who cares if you’re in a crowded library? Not this South Carolina undergrad. He ignores all social norms as he ferociously yanks at his little mule. I say little confidently as those aren’t very big strokes. This brings me to a… Continue reading