Crunchberries: Real fruit or fake fruit? The Tale of the dumbest woman on Earth

Do you ever hear of something or see something so stupid it makes you question your basic fundamental belief in humanity? For me it happens every now and then. It happened to me with Honey Boo Boo. I hoped and prayed that they  would be the rock bottom for stupidity. Well, it appears that the bottom dropped out of a few years ago.

I could never, in a million years think that someone would be dumb enough to think that Cap’n Crunch has fruit in it. Well, I just found out that this person exists. Janine Sugawara tried to sue the company that makes Cap’n Crunch because she believed she was eating something healthy, ‘crunchberries’, when indeed she was eating brightly colored cereal balls. Holy shit.


What about that looks like a goddamn fruit to you? I really wanted to believe this woman was just trolling, but after reading her argument it turns out she was being totally serious. She felt like she was fooled by the cereals use of the word ‘berry’. I honestly wonder how many times this woman has been tricked in her life.

Why hasn’t she questioned Cap’n Crunch’s military service? He’s dressed up like some 18th century Navy Captain, and I honestly don’t think he served a day in his life. In my opinion he’s just as guilty as those scumbags who put on fake military uniforms and parade themselves around the mall waiting for people to thank them for their service. Cap’n Crunch is absolutely guilty of stolen valor.

I was extremely relieved to learn that this didn’t end like when that woman sued McDonald’s over coffee being hot, this is how the judge responded:

“The survival of the instant claim would require this Court to ignore all concepts of personal responsibility and common sense. The Court has no intention of allowing that to happen.”

I’m not a lawyer, but the judge basically said, fuck you- you’re an idiot.

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