ScotchSquatch

Holy shit does it feel good having college football actually back. As I sit here and hen peck away at the keyboard Notre Dame is currently wiping their greasy little Irish dicks all over Michigan. I’ve got the over at 46.5 and right now I think it’s at like 31 points, so we’re on track.… Continue reading

… And let’s start the war on condoms. I have a great alternative to banning the use of plastic straws. Sure, I’ve seen the video of that turtle with a straw stuck inside of it’s shell, and it made me super sad just like it made everyone else super sad. So instead of banning plastic… Continue reading

So I’m driving home today in my new car, no big deal, but yea, I bought a Ford Explorer. It’s even got a CD player so now I can play my Now That’s What I Call Music mix. No big deal. It’s also got a sun roof that sort of sometimes works. It’s nice moving… Continue reading

In my lifelong quest to remain young and beautiful forever I’ve decided to do a charcoal mask. Listen, I get it, my beauty will eventually fade. I’m no spring chicken, I’m every bit of 31 years old. I’m no longer that wide eyed young buck you guys came to know and love. So, I’ve decided… Continue reading

In a recent press release PornHub has announced that it will be adding a closed captions feature to all of their videos. This is great for so many reasons. I am all about making life easier for people who are hearing impaired. Imagine not knowing what Riley Reid is yelling while getting double stuffed by… Continue reading

So the question buzzing around the internet right is whether this guy is awesome for commuting to work this way or a total idiot. There are few things I love more than judging people. So this sort of debate is right in my wheel house. Let’s go. It’s a bold move, for so many reasons.… Continue reading

Credit pagesix.com for breaking this story. I have no idea how valid or true it is because I didn’t click on the article, but I thought it might be fun to make a few dick jokes while I laid in bed. First of all I’d like to come out of the closet. As a known… Continue reading

Since football has existed (maybe?) the team who wins the Super Bowl has gone to the Whitehouse to hang out, eat dinner, and drop piss bombs from a drone on third world countries. For the first time that I can remember (probably?) that won’t be happening. A lot of people are wondering why. Some blame… Continue reading

So for the past few months there has been a mysterious pile of human shit popping up near the track and football field of Holmdel High School. I guess for some reason it started to bother some of the students, so they spoke up and raised concerns to the staff of the school, who then… Continue reading