Steve
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Siegfried N. Roy Died Today
He brought joy to millions and millions of people. He wore flashy outfits and taught people that tigers and lions aren’t dangerous, that they are actually cute, cuddly and 100 percent safe. He was the original Joe Exotic. But unlike Joe Exotic, Siegfried N. Roy wasn’t white trash. In fact, he was the opposite. He… Continue reading
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ScotchSquatch Astrology presented by…
Since the Great Quarantine of 2020 has begun I’ve had lots of time to pick up some new hobbies. And since I can’t afford to pay my electric bill or my rent anymore, I have had plenty of time to stare up at the stars. And let me tell you, the stars, they speak to… Continue reading
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The light at the end of your butthole
From a NY Post article: The hottest trend gripping wellness die-hards is tanning their cans, or “perineum sunning,” as influencers are calling it. “In a mere 30 seconds of sunlight on your butthole, you will receive more energy from this electric node than you would in an entire day being outside with your clothes on,”… Continue reading
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Kim Jung Un is Kim Jung ill
I know, I am as nervous as you folks are about the supreme leader of North Korea. Apparently the other day he had some kind of surgery, I believe it was to finally shrink his penis down to a more manageable 10 inches, when something went awry. When I think of Jim Kong I don’t… Continue reading
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Where To Find The Best Gloryholes In Your Town
During this time of self quarantining and isolation, sex for single people is becoming extremely difficult. And I’m OK with it. If I have to stop plowing down to keep my Grandma alive, then so be it. I love my Grandma that much. Slightly more than I love plowing down I suppose. But for those… Continue reading
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Girl Literally Throws Her Friend Under The Bus
We’ve all thought about it. We’ve all walked next to someone and thought, “The world would be a better place without this piece of shit.” But most of us will never have the courage to act upon it. This girl however, tried to be a hero, probably. Truthfully we’ll never know if this girl is… Continue reading
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Where Are They Now: 90’s Edition
I love reminiscing and looking back. I’m a big time “where are they now” guy. So I decided I would do a little of my own, 90’s Edition. The year was 1998 and MTV was hitting its stride as the best channel that wasn’t ESPN. Singled Out was still on, the Real World and Road… Continue reading
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Scumbag Yard Sale: Finders Keepers Edition: Presented By The Scotchsquatch
These are weird times, crazy times even. And crazy times call for crazy measures. Since I’m basically out of work until we get this pandemic under control which, depending on which news program or website you subscribe to, could be as early as May or as far away as September of 2025; I decided it’s… Continue reading
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I’ve Decided To Move To Belarus
It comes with great deliberation that due to what’s happening in the world, that I must pack my belongings and move to the great nation of Belarus. Sure, I love this country just as much as the next middle class white guy, but one thing has been missing from my life during this quarantine. And… Continue reading
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Brittney Spears Is The New Fastest Man On The Planet
Brittney Spears can now add fastest man on the planet to her long résumé that includes countless awards and a ton of accomplishments including: Numerous Billboard awards, an AMA award, a Grammy, a slew of Guinness World Records for her songs, and the ever prestigious Nickelodeon Kids Choice award. She’s also responsible for paving the… Continue reading
