ScotchSquatch

Steve

  • It’s Food Review Time: Charcuterie Board Season: Alter Bread Crackers

    Charcuterie boards are all the buzz right now. I am seeing them everywhere. And with the exception of a few they all tend to look the same. Same few meats, same few cheeses, and pretty much all the same bread and crackers. Sure I love the meat and cheese, and they’re important, but the bread… Continue reading

  • My Friend, The DipShit, Wants To Be The GM For The Eagles

    I have a friend who I’ve wanted to blog about for a long, long time. He’s the king of doing dumb things. If saying or doing the wrong thing at the wrong time was poetry, he would be William Shakespeare. The DipShit is a die hard Eagles fan, and being a die hard Eagles fan… Continue reading

  • Folks: I’m running for Mayor

    This has been a long time coming, but I, Stephen Michael Stephen Sorrentino, am running for mayor. That’s right, I went full name on ya. Yes, that is my full name. The second Stephen is my confirmation name, because I’m a good Catholic boy. I thought it would be funny. Still makes me laugh today.… Continue reading

  • R.I.P. Larry “The Cable Guy” King

    Heaven gained another angel this morning, as Larry “The Cable Guy” King finally got-er-done. Pictured here with lifelong friend and business partner Whiz Kuhleefa. Larry is most famous for a comedy career that has spanned three decades, countless countries, and hundreds of thousands of grainy TVs in trailer parks across America. Known for wearing denim… Continue reading

  • The TasteMaker: The McRib

    The king of the dogshit sandwiches is back just in time for the holidays. I’ll be honest, I’ve never tried a McRib until now because I’m not as big of a piece of shit as most people think I am. Side note: I got a brand new phone, and I’m getting a lot more into… Continue reading

  • Cast Away To Be Re-Released With 17 Minutes Of Additional Footage

    Director Robert Zemeckis announced late last night to absolutely no one that he would be releasing a directors cut version of the hit movie Castaway. The hit movie starring Tom Hanks (Colin Hanks elderly father) is set to celebrate its 20th anniversary this year, so the director agreed to do something special. One of the… Continue reading

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  • The Idiots Guide To Overcoming How Horny You Are

    It’s something that we all deal with on a daily basis but no one ever has the courage to talk about. Well that’s about to change. I’m going to do for horniness what the ice bucket challenge did for ALS. But the ice isn’t getting dumped on your head this time. It’s getting dumped on… Continue reading

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  • I’m Not An Idiot: State The States: Part 2

    Like I said in part 1, a lot of people think I’m just some idiot, so in an effort to prove my intelligence, I’m going to be going through all 50 states, and identifying them and teaching you a few random facts about them. If you missed part 1, click here. Let’s jump right into… Continue reading

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  • Chris Evans Accidentally Shows Off Lieutenant America: Grade That Hog

    So after asking my agent and advertisers and then getting screamed at for about an hour it’s come to my attention that I’m not allowed to share the actual pic of Lieutenant America, AKA Chris Evan’s wrench. So I studied it for a few hours, and recreated it. I mean honestly, that is pretty much… Continue reading

  • Gwyneth Paltrow’s Vagina Candles

    First off, can we please talk about how her company’s name is Goop? What kind of a name is Goop? After a quick Google search Goop means exactly what you think it does, a sloppy or sticky seminal fluid-typically something unpleasant. Actually, come to think of it, it’s a perfect name for a company that… Continue reading