Cast Away To Be Re-Released With 17 Minutes Of Additional Footage

Director Robert Zemeckis announced late last night to absolutely no one that he would be releasing a directors cut version of the hit movie Castaway. The hit movie starring Tom Hanks (Colin Hanks elderly father) is set to celebrate its 20th anniversary this year, so the director agreed to do something special.

One of the scenes he will be showing for the first time will be an additional 13 minute scene where you see Tom Hanks (Colin Hanks father) scream crying in the cave before he spends the next four minutes making extremely aggressive love to his balloon, Wilson.

I sat down to speak with Rob once I told him I was writing this story about him.

Me- “Robbie, what made you decide to release this footage?”

Rob- “It was actually Toms idea. He said he saw a meme the other day, and it reminded him of filming the scene, and he thought that maybe we should share it with the world.”

Me- “Interesting. Do you know which meme it was?”

Rob- “I think it was that big black guy sitting on the bed.”

Me- “Oh?”

Rob- “You know, the guy with the massive wrench.”

Me- “I’m familiar.”

Rob- “Tom said it got him all horned up.”

Me- “Yea, that logic checks out. What made you film this sex scene in the first place?”

Rob- “When I first saw the script, it had a totally different idea about the ‘Wilson’ character. It was originally supposed to just be a little fuck toy. Something like a dead fish. But we wanted to humanize it a little bit more. In the original script it also had Tom Hanks constructing a gigantic Rube Goldberg mechanism he would use to kill himself, and it worked too. It would have been really beautiful to film. You’d watch over the course of twenty minutes him constructing this gigantic thing- getting stuck a few times and frustrated along the way, but he perseveres. Then there is this moment where he finishes it but you aren’t sure exactly what it does. Then he fucks Wilson one last time, before immediately starting the mechanism. It would have done all these neat things. Then at the very end it was going to just drop a real big boulder on his head. ”

Me- “Wow, really?”

Rob- “Yea, his head was going to pop like a zit. Splat!”

Denny’s Waitress- “Is there anything else I can do for you folks?”

Rob- “I can think of a few things, how about you, Steve?”

Me- “Just the check, I don’t want any dessert.”

Rob- “Not even a slice of warm pie?”

Me- “No, I’m not hungry.”

Rob- “You don’t love a warm piece of cherry pie?”

Me- “Yea, I guess. I’m fine though.”

Rob- [nudging the waitress] “Cause I love a warm piece of cherry pie.”

Denny’s Waitress- “Do you actually want a slice of cherry pie?”

Rob- “No I can’t, I’m diabetic.”

Denny’s Waitress- “OK, here’s the check.”

Rob- “Did you get that I didn’t actually mean cherry pie?”

Me- “Yea.”

Rob- “I was making a reference to a woman’s you know [pointing down] downstairs.”

Me- “Yea, I got that.”

Rob- “Her crotch.”

Me- “Gotcha.”

Rob- “I’ve gotta use the toilet, I’ll be back.”

**Forty Five Minutes Later**

Me-“Everything alright?”

Rob- [Nervously looking around] “Yea, I’ve gotta go though.”

Me- “Alright, it was great meet—.” I stopped talking as he just walked away and right out the door.

I for one am looking forward to the re-release of this classic movie starring Tom Hanks (Colin Hanks father). I hope the directors cut has his commentary as well. Fingers crossed.

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