Food Review: The Naked Chicken Chalupa

As I sat there putting the finishing touches on an article I’ve been working on for Men’s Health I could hear a commercial on the television across the house. As I sipped my coffee I heard the words “Chicken shell”. Immediately I was sold.

As most of you know I’ve been on a strict carb free, gluten free diet. So I haven’t been going to Taco Bell lately, since taco shells have both carbs and gluten. But, if you replace that lousey gluten filled carb loaded tortilla with a piece of chicken, well that fits in well within my macros.

So I hopped on my Cervelo P5X Triathalon bike, which I’ve been exclusively using to get around town, and made my way to Taco Bell. It only took a few minutes before I was back at my Italian marble kitchen island. I opened it and as you can tell in the picture, they really took their time making this one. It looked flawless, as you can tell from this picture. I had to do something I’ve never done before, I had to see the cross-section on this beaut.

My lord.

Perfectly cooked gluten free, carb free, locally sourced, non-gmo, chicken. It fit my strict diet perfectly. I couldn’t help myself, I had to take a bite.

Holy moley!

Juicy, tender chicken. Fresh cut local vegetables crunched in my mouth. The juice from the four tiny tomato squares ran down my cheeks and glistened like the first bite of a woodurmelon on a sunny summer day. It might not sound like enough tomato, but it was the perfect amount. Everything in this sandwich was the perfect amount. The lettuce, the cheese, the four tiny tomato squares, the green sauce that was only applied to the one half. That’s an old chef trick, you want the eater to taste the meat first, then have a few bites with some sauce. Luckily I’m educated enough in the culinary arts to get that. Most people would haven’t picked up on that. Thankfully I’m not most people.

This taco was a symphony of flavors and textures, from the first bite to the piece I ate off the floor a few minutes later, absolute perfection.

I don’t believe in perfect scores, I think perfection is something to be strived for but never achieved, like the female orgasm.

I give this a 10.69 out of 11.

Once I finished both tacos, I pedaled my Cervelo P5X Triathalon bike back to Taco Bell and picked up 8 more to put in my meal prep containers for my next four dinners.

I also had a churro.

Eatin healthy never tasted so good.

This entry was posted in Steve. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Food Review: The Naked Chicken Chalupa

  1. Cate says:

    Unfortunately, your beloved naked chicken chalupa is not gluten free

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s