I’m writing this on my phone so the formatting might not be great but whatever It is slightly passed 1pm on Sunday morning and I’m still in bed with zero chance of getting up any time soon. I fear for a few hours in the future when the vodka is no longer in my system… Continue reading

There is nothing more rage-inciting than not being able to write. Having nothing to put on the page makes me want to throw the computer through a window. I won’t. Mostly because it’s not my computer that I normally write on. Also, I can’t afford to replace a window, so there is that.   I… Continue reading

I’ve always had this thought, or fucked up idea, that one day I would rent a cement truck and dump a giant pile of cement in front of someone’s driveway. Obviously someone I didn’t like. I always thought-how loud could a cement truck be? If the person is a heavy sleeper they could probably get… Continue reading

Not all Saturdays are created equally. Armed with six bottles of champagne, a thirty pack of cheap light beer, and two handles of vodka, a few friends and I prepared ourselves for a fifteen hour drinking marathon.   The plan was to start our day off with a Fuller House marathon and champagne at noon.… Continue reading

This post is in response to me being told to update this more regularly.   Every morning I wake up and stare longingly outside at the water wishing that I was a fish. I imagine myself leading the crusade against fisherman. Teaching other fish my sure fire methods of avoiding the mighty hook and living… Continue reading

Its slightly passed noon on whatever weekday this is. They all blend together nowadays. I’m watching World War II in color on Netflix as I wait for my roommate to wake up so we can go to the bar and drink bloody marys. I had vodka for dinner last night, so it only seems right… Continue reading

The beginning of something is always exciting. Whether it’s a movie, a relationship, a sandwich, or a blowjob; it’s exciting. In this case it’s a website, which hopefully will be almost as fun as the latter two. Actually who am I kidding? Not much is better than a blowjob and a sandwich, but I’ll try… Continue reading