Every now and then it’s fun to watch something burn to the ground. Now whether or not that’s a pile of wood safely put into a fire pit or your ex’s house determines what kind of person you are.

No one chooses to be a jealous piece of shit asshole. But it happens. Shit happens. The more you love something the crazier it can make you feel. The louder it makes you want to scream. The harder it makes you want to throw things. There is nothing and I mean nothing worse than losing something you love.

That all being said, Burger King discontinued the Mac and Cheeto and it makes me want to kill myself. As if I wasn’t still reeling from the Pizza Hut in town closing. Not only was it where I met some lifelong friends, but it’s also where I had my first public hook-up. Ah, those were the good ole days. Also, they had an ‘anything you want’ pizza for eleven dollars. What a bargain as long as you can deal with the self-loathing and diarrhea that accompanies an eleven dollar pizza.

Thank god for football season. In my darkest of times, which these surely are, football has brought me back to life. And what better way than with the Giants vs Cowboys opening day. As a lifelong Giants fan, it was perfect. A nice close game that ended with someone on the Cowboys doing something very stupid. All he had to do was run out of bounds with the ball and the Cowboys most likely would have won. But he didn’t, and for that I’m very grateful.

Summer is over and as much as I’m going to miss seeing girls in their bikinis every day I welcome yoga pants back into my life with open arms and crowded trousers. And as one blessing turns into another these gracious women who choose to wear said pants are graced with the return of pumpkin flavored everything. Big thanks to the inventor of yoga pants and all things pumpkin flavored. Respect.  

I’m going to end this short blog post with a simple PLEASE BUY MY BOOKS- Sober (ish) & Love and Violence, I HAVE BILLS TO PAY.

Love you all.