It’s going to be a great couple of days. I know there wasn’t really anything bad in the news lately, so we can really just focus on the positives. Let’s start with this: Jennifer Aniston just landed herself a new facial care commercial. And judging from the commercial it’s a yogurt based topical ointment. The… Continue reading

  Just as the wounds from Harambe were starting to heal, another gorilla was found dead in the state of Ohio. It’s sort of becoming what Ohio zoos are known for. Another reason Ohio is the absolute worst (Fuck you Ohio State). Colo was the oldest gorilla ever and the first one to be born in… Continue reading

https://instagram.com/p/BPTmuhQDDhq/ This is a move I wholeheartedly respect. Sometimes you’ve just gotta jerk off. Who cares if you’re in a crowded library? Not this South Carolina undergrad. He ignores all social norms as he ferociously yanks at his little mule. I say little confidently as those aren’t very big strokes. This brings me to a… Continue reading

What. The. Fuck. I seriously wish this hype train would die down, but Dana White, in true Dana White fashion stokes the fire with this bogus offer. Would I buy the PPV to watch this fight? Absolutely. Would it be entertaining? Sure, but more in a circus style way, not really in a two evenly… Continue reading

It turns out this about six years old, but holy shit. It might be the greatest thing I’ve ever seen. Obviously they took out all the “fucks” and replaced them with “fudges” and took out all the “bitches” and replaced them with hard “B’s”. They did however keep all of the murder scenes and drug… Continue reading

The Golden Globes were last night and while I missed most of it because I was screaming into a bottle of scotch over the Giants lost, I was able tune in with about two hours left. Just in time to watch Meryl Streep’s assault on the MMA world. One of the most random and hopefully soon to be… Continue reading

What a world we live in. Just when you think you’re safe inside of a Walmart, some dirtbag blasts you with a syringe filled with cum. I thought blasting heroin was the worst thing you could do with a syringe. Not even close. I was torn with whether or not this was a Florida man… Continue reading

I wanted to wait a few days before writing this up. Mostly because of the bender I was on following UFC 207 and into the New Year, but also because I wanted to see how the dust settled. I was really hoping Ronda Rousey would eventually come forward and take the lose like a champion.… Continue reading

Don’t you worry, this is not a “New Year new me” style post. In fact, it’s literally the opposite. It’s 11:44AM on January 3rd. I just took my first shower of the new year. Not a joke. I’m really that big of a piece of shit. This is also my first sober moment of the… Continue reading

Everyone remembers the famed El Chapo prison escape. The one where he paid millions of dollars to have a tunnel built that led up to this prison. There was a ladder to bring him down and then a scooter or something so he wouldn’t have to actually walk. I think we can all agree when I say… Continue reading