ScotchSquatch

Folks the hero we need to save us during these trying times is finally here: DAVE IS BACK ON TOUR!! Dave is what we, the real fans, call him. He’s known as Dave Matthews Band to everyone else. Now when we need him most, he is going on a summer world tour to try and Continue reading

The economy is in a bit of a slump right now with the temporary closing of businesses due to the Corona Virus, so what better time to announce my latest, and for sure greatest business venture yet. I’ve recently procured a few ghosts, six of which, are extremely mean. The other two, are just a Continue reading

Now if that’s not the most New Jersey thing ever, we finally get something nice back and you guys filled it up with shit and piss. NEW JERSEY — There was an “inordinate” amount of urine and feces left in bottles at recently reopened parks in New Jersey over the weekend, officials said on Monday. Continue reading

He brought joy to millions and millions of people. He wore flashy outfits and taught people that tigers and lions aren’t dangerous, that they are actually cute, cuddly and 100 percent safe. He was the original Joe Exotic. But unlike Joe Exotic, Siegfried N. Roy wasn’t white trash. In fact, he was the opposite. He Continue reading

Since the Great Quarantine of 2020 has begun I’ve had lots of time to pick up some new hobbies. And since I can’t afford to pay my electric bill or my rent anymore, I have had plenty of time to stare up at the stars. And let me tell you, the stars, they speak to Continue reading

From a NY Post article: The hottest trend gripping wellness die-hards is tanning their cans, or “perineum sunning,” as influencers are calling it. “In a mere 30 seconds of sunlight on your butthole, you will receive more energy from this electric node than you would in an entire day being outside with your clothes on,” Continue reading

I know, I am as nervous as you folks are about the supreme leader of North Korea. Apparently the other day he had some kind of surgery, I believe it was to finally shrink his penis down to a more manageable 10 inches, when something went awry. When I think of Jim Kong I don’t Continue reading

During this time of self quarantining and isolation, sex for single people is becoming extremely difficult. And I’m OK with it. If I have to stop plowing down to keep my Grandma alive, then so be it. I love my Grandma that much. Slightly more than I love plowing down I suppose. But for those Continue reading

We’ve all thought about it. We’ve all walked next to someone and thought, “The world would be a better place without this piece of shit.” But most of us will never have the courage to act upon it. This girl however, tried to be a hero, probably. Truthfully we’ll never know if this girl is Continue reading

I love reminiscing and looking back. I’m a big time “where are they now” guy. So I decided I would do a little of my own, 90’s Edition. The year was 1998 and MTV was hitting its stride as the best channel that wasn’t ESPN. Singled Out was still on, the Real World and Road Continue reading