These are weird times, crazy times even. And crazy times call for crazy measures. Since I’m basically out of work until we get this pandemic under control which, depending on which news program or website you subscribe to, could be as early as May or as far away as September of 2025; I decided it’s Continue reading

It comes with great deliberation that due to what’s happening in the world, that I must pack my belongings and move to the great nation of Belarus. Sure, I love this country just as much as the next middle class white guy, but one thing has been missing from my life during this quarantine. And Continue reading

Brittney Spears can now add fastest man on the planet to her long résumé that includes countless awards and a ton of accomplishments including: Numerous Billboard awards, an AMA award, a Grammy, a slew of Guinness World Records for her songs, and the ever prestigious Nickelodeon Kids Choice award. She’s also responsible for paving the Continue reading

Don’t worry this isn’t going to be like that dog shit Matt Damon movie that I made it three minutes into. This is me, Squatch Exotic, telling you I’m embarking on a journey to become the best me I could possibly be. By now I hope you’ve either seen Tiger King or have plans too. Continue reading

Don’t let the outfit fool you, the woman shown in this picture is actually not a nurse. This is Russian pornstar Lola Taylor. Known for her work in “Soldiers In Ass-Ghanistan”, “Interracial Vision”, “Rocco’s Perfect Slaves 9”, and her magnum opus “Anal Buffet 12”. Having missed the first 11 Anal Buffets, I wasn’t able to Continue reading

The guy who lives behind me just built a trap door on his summer home and I LOVE the idea. I have people over a lot. And people always ask if they can bring a friend. I always say yes, because the more the merrier, but every now and then upon meeting the person I Continue reading

These are wild times we’re living in. And let’s all be frank here, judging by the social media posts I’ve seen all weekend, a lot of you are really fucking stupid. As Italy’s body count rises like my plate of meatballs at my Nana’s house, did people seek shelter and avoid other people? Did they Continue reading

It’s that special time of year again where it’s normal to see people in the streets walking around who look like they passed out in an ash tray. I grew up having to wait in line for an hour so some priest can smudge my perfect little forehead with the ashes of burnt boys underpants- Continue reading

Blue Jays catcher Reese McGuire was just arrested for jerking off in a Florida parking lot IN his car. Which is by far the least offensive thing someone has done in a South Florida parking lot. But I know I speak for literally everyone when I say, since WHEN is that illegal? Since when can Continue reading

If I had to describe the Super Bowl halftime show in one word I would describe it as great. If I had to describe it in two words, I’d describe it was very great. It was perfect. Shakira and JLo are two incredibly talented, strong, smart women. That being said, lets get to some horny Continue reading