Don’t let the outfit fool you, the woman shown in this picture is actually not a nurse. This is Russian pornstar Lola Taylor. Known for her work in “Soldiers In Ass-Ghanistan”, “Interracial Vision”, “Rocco’s Perfect Slaves 9”, and her magnum opus “Anal Buffet 12”. Having missed the first 11 Anal Buffets, I wasn’t able to fully critique her role in the film, but let me tell you, you will not be disappointed, especially if you’re into the rough stuff.

Anyway, Lola promises to bang whatever scientist is the first to create a successful vaccine for Corona virus, in a move I’d like to call The Reverse Jenny McCarthy.

Since her announcement I’ve donned my white coat and hit the lab. I have begun experimenting with different drugs and chemicals. Yesterday I mixed acetaminophen, expired Tylenol PM and just a touch of bleach. I also poisoned my roommate with Imodium, penicillin, and a juiced Lysol disinfectant wipe.

I’m waiting to see if either combination vaccinates my roommate and I from the Corona Virus, fingers crossed. I’d love to cross “plow a pornstar” off my bucket-list so I can move on to the next item, changing my health insurance plan.