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The TasteMaker: The McRib
The king of the dogshit sandwiches is back just in time for the holidays. I’ll be honest, I’ve never tried a McRib until now because I’m not as big of a piece of shit as most people think I am. Side note: I got a brand new phone, and I’m getting a lot more into Continue reading
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Cast Away To Be Re-Released With 17 Minutes Of Additional Footage
Director Robert Zemeckis announced late last night to absolutely no one that he would be releasing a directors cut version of the hit movie Castaway. The hit movie starring Tom Hanks (Colin Hanks elderly father) is set to celebrate its 20th anniversary this year, so the director agreed to do something special. One of the Continue reading
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The Idiots Guide To Overcoming How Horny You Are
It’s something that we all deal with on a daily basis but no one ever has the courage to talk about. Well that’s about to change. I’m going to do for horniness what the ice bucket challenge did for ALS. But the ice isn’t getting dumped on your head this time. It’s getting dumped on Continue reading
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I’m Not An Idiot: State The States: Part 2
Like I said in part 1, a lot of people think I’m just some idiot, so in an effort to prove my intelligence, I’m going to be going through all 50 states, and identifying them and teaching you a few random facts about them. If you missed part 1, click here. Let’s jump right into Continue reading
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Chris Evans Accidentally Shows Off Lieutenant America: Grade That Hog
So after asking my agent and advertisers and then getting screamed at for about an hour it’s come to my attention that I’m not allowed to share the actual pic of Lieutenant America, AKA Chris Evan’s wrench. So I studied it for a few hours, and recreated it. I mean honestly, that is pretty much Continue reading
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Gwyneth Paltrow’s Vagina Candles
First off, can we please talk about how her company’s name is Goop? What kind of a name is Goop? After a quick Google search Goop means exactly what you think it does, a sloppy or sticky seminal fluid-typically something unpleasant. Actually, come to think of it, it’s a perfect name for a company that Continue reading
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I’m Not An Idiot: State The States: Part 1 of 5
It’s recently come to my attention that a lot of people think I’m an idiot. And that’s fucking dumb. So in my attempt to clear my good name, I’m going to do a book report on all 50 states, without looking anything up. So I guess it’s not really a book report. I guess it’s Continue reading
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Kiss My Ass Tony Danza
I had to wake up to this news the other morning, so as you can imagine, I was less than pleased. Not only that, but my feud with Tony Danza has been very well documented, so all of my friends kept texting that this loser is getting his show back. As you might remember, this Continue reading
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Will Smith: Confirmed Cuck
We all knew it would happen to him eventually. Will Smith is a pretty good looking guy, but if we’re being honest I wouldn’t bang him. I would however bang his wife, Jada. I think a lot of people feel that way too. Listen, if you’re going to dress up like The Genie from Aladdin, Continue reading
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Is Joey Chestnut The Most Dominate Athlete Of All Time: An Investigative Report
When people talk about the greatest and most dominate athletes of all time you hear names like Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky, Michael Phelps, Rocco Siffredi, or even Tiger Woods. But now the name that I believe should ring the loudest is Joey Mother Fucking Chestnut. 75 hot dogs. Seventy Five hot dogs. Michael Jordan only Continue reading
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