ScotchSquatch

It’s pretty much my mission to continually unroll new types of blogs that I probably won’t keep up with. This one is different, maybe, as I actually see myself keeping up with this one… maybe. Who knows right? Anyway, this is going to basically be me discussing (with myself?) daily events that don’t really warrant Continue reading

The Pro Bowl was last night and while the AFC beat the NFC, we the viewers were the real losers. As someone who dies a little bit inside when the football season ends I watch the Pro Bowl every year as it’s the second to last football Sunday of the year. And that leaves a Continue reading

Round two baby. The last Bag of Dicks© went to the lady who freed the 23 pound lobster, you can read about that by typing ‘bag of dicks’ into the little search bar in the right corner. Come on do it, you know you’ve always wanted to type ‘bag of dicks’… Alright, you’re all caught up now, so Continue reading

It’s going to be a great couple of days. I know there wasn’t really anything bad in the news lately, so we can really just focus on the positives. Let’s start with this: Jennifer Aniston just landed herself a new facial care commercial. And judging from the commercial it’s a yogurt based topical ointment. The Continue reading

  Just as the wounds from Harambe were starting to heal, another gorilla was found dead in the state of Ohio. It’s sort of becoming what Ohio zoos are known for. Another reason Ohio is the absolute worst (Fuck you Ohio State). Colo was the oldest gorilla ever and the first one to be born in Continue reading

https://instagram.com/p/BPTmuhQDDhq/ This is a move I wholeheartedly respect. Sometimes you’ve just gotta jerk off. Who cares if you’re in a crowded library? Not this South Carolina undergrad. He ignores all social norms as he ferociously yanks at his little mule. I say little confidently as those aren’t very big strokes. This brings me to a Continue reading

What. The. Fuck. I seriously wish this hype train would die down, but Dana White, in true Dana White fashion stokes the fire with this bogus offer. Would I buy the PPV to watch this fight? Absolutely. Would it be entertaining? Sure, but more in a circus style way, not really in a two evenly Continue reading

It turns out this about six years old, but holy shit. It might be the greatest thing I’ve ever seen. Obviously they took out all the “fucks” and replaced them with “fudges” and took out all the “bitches” and replaced them with hard “B’s”. They did however keep all of the murder scenes and drug Continue reading

The Golden Globes were last night and while I missed most of it because I was screaming into a bottle of scotch over the Giants lost, I was able tune in with about two hours left. Just in time to watch Meryl Streep’s assault on the MMA world. One of the most random and hopefully soon to be Continue reading

What a world we live in. Just when you think you’re safe inside of a Walmart, some dirtbag blasts you with a syringe filled with cum. I thought blasting heroin was the worst thing you could do with a syringe. Not even close. I was torn with whether or not this was a Florida man Continue reading