ScotchSquatch

This is the holy grail for the degenerate gambler, it’s basically Christmas in March. But instead of getting gifts and spending time with your family you’re losing your rent money and you’re screaming at 18 year olds for missing an easy lay up. But seriously, it’s a fucking lay up. Get your goddamn shit together. Continue reading

Tim Tebow’s career has been an emotional rollercoaster for me. He does all this weird shit and everyone just chalks it up to him being super religious and such a great person. First he went all four years at The University of Florida without touching a single boob. That right there makes me wildly upset. Continue reading

This is Starting NFL Quarterbacks And How They Lost Their Virginity** We’re all sexual beings. All of us. Everyone from your little sister to Katy Perry to your grandfather. They’ve all had sex. Some better, some much worse. Either way, sexuality is always there. Whether it’s on the big screen in a movie theater or in Continue reading

I want to apologize for my lack of updating lately. I’ve hit a tough spot in the new book I’m working on- 86ed- and I’ve been spending every moment of my time working on figuring that out. Anyway, story time… I was dating a girl who lived in a city during my mid-twenties. I did Continue reading

Do you ever hear of something or see something so stupid it makes you question your basic fundamental belief in humanity? For me it happens every now and then. It happened to me with Honey Boo Boo. I hoped and prayed that they  would be the rock bottom for stupidity. Well, it appears that the bottom dropped out Continue reading

Slightly less than 500 miles away from the Las Vegas strip in the Lovelock Correctional Center, inmate number 1027820 is just waking up in his small, cramped cell. A downgrade from his 6,000 square foot mansion he used to wake up in before he absolutely murdered his wife Nicole and the dude who was deep dicking her. Continue reading

We all have that one friend that is way too close with their family members. Maybe they tell them every single thing that happens in their life or maybe they just hug them for a little bit too long when they see each other. Those two things, I am barely OK with. What I am Continue reading

No time for fancy introductions I’m just going to jump right into it. If I was a fan of the Atlanta Falcons I would burn their stadium to the fucking ground. Seriously, just keep running the ball and you’ve got yourself your first ever Lombardi trophy. Literally, just burn the clock out, waste some time. Continue reading

SIDE NOTE: Turns out this was actually super fake. Whatever though, enjoy my thoughts on it anyway. Who knew shower drains couldn’t handle a few loads? I think it would actually be easier to just upgrade the plumbing to jizz grade pipes than it would be to try and stop college aged guys from jerking off. Continue reading

It’s the day before the Super Bowl, so let’s get started. Without looking at their records or stats for the year this matchup has the feel of an older, much larger brother getting ready to beat the shit out of his kid brother for even thinking he’s allowed to play the same game. Tom Brady Continue reading