Not a great start to March Madness for me.

Started with a real hard 0-1. The Notre Dame vs Princeton had 118 points and the over was 134. If some of those nerds from Princeton would have been able to make a few more simple lay ups I would have pulled it off. But no, they were too busy thinking about how excited they are for their summer courses to start back up. Notre Dame was able to channel their inner Rudy and show just barely enough heart to pull off a two point victory over the nerds from Princeton.

Gonzaga vs South Dakota State was terrible as well. At one point Gonzaga didn’t score for like five minutes. Five fucking minutes of not scoring against the number 16 seed is absolutely wild. Both teams shot like garbage, neither team shooting above 40 percent. Yea, I know Gonzaga has a top tier defense, but I still bet the over because their offense is usually pretty tight. Not today. I hope Gonzaga gets merked in the next round.

Northwestern vs Vanderbilt: If there was an over/under on how many times they would mention and show Julia Louis-Dreyfus (her son plays for NW), I’d bet that over no matter the number and it would win huge. Vandy, as the young hip kids called, has this wildly tall lanky white kid who I was positive was going to get hurt. You really shouldn’t be 7’2 and weigh less than 250, that’s insane. Shaq was healthy most of his career and he weighed in at a sexual 325- so eat some Papa Johns. I had the over in this game at 130, which hit at the very end, but I also had NW to cover 2.5, which they didn’t do because of a MOTHERFUCKING FREETHROW. GOD FUCKING DAMN’T.

Mount ST. Mary’s vs Villanova is off to an abysmal start for someone who bet the over. Nova literally didn’t score for the first five minutes. I know that sounds like a joke, but I promise it isn’t. MSM was off to an electric start on both defense and offense as they kept the game extremely close in the first half. The second half opened up with Nova unloafing their giant dicks and slapping the godliness out of MSM. Both bets on this game came through, the over hit as well as MSM covering, so I’m coming back!

Wisconsin vs Virginia Tech, I had Wisconsin covering and the over, nailed them both. However my FGCU vs FSU game, the battle of the acronyms I lost both as I had the under and I had FSU covering. Dunk City fucked my day up. I think I ended the day 5-6 or 6-6, my phone is charging all the way across the room, so I can’t really check.

Day Two:

After not doing great with the O/U’s yesterday I decided to switch it up.

I’ve got Michigan vs OKST, with Michigan covering the spread at 2.5.

Iona vs Oregon, I’ve got Iona- whoever the fuck they are, covering the 15.5 spread.

TSU vs UNC, giant spread, with TSU +26.5, so I’m taking TSU to cover.

Here is the one over I’m taking today- UC Davis vs Kansas, over at 145.

Troy vs Duke, I’ve got Troy to cover to 19.5 point spread.

Last game of the night, Northern Kentucky vs Kentucky, I’ve got Kentucky winning by a million and obviously covering the 20 point spread.

I’ve got a bottle of vodka someone brought to my house next to me, and I’ve got money riding on kids who were 12 seven years ago, I love March Madness.