March Madness: Part One

This is the holy grail for the degenerate gambler, it’s basically Christmas in March. But instead of getting gifts and spending time with your family you’re losing your rent money and you’re screaming at 18 year olds for missing an easy lay up. But seriously, it’s a fucking lay up. Get your goddamn shit together.

In the battle of nerds vs catholics (Princeton vs Notre Dame) I’ve got the over hitting at 134, which seems low, but since most of the people playing are white- it’s going to be entirely too close.

David vs Goliath is at 2pm (South Dakota State vs Gonzaga) I’ve once again got the over at 156 because Gonzaga’s offense is electric. I also have Gonzaga covering the spread by 22 points. I’m pretty confident in this, but I’m entirely too confident with every bet I place, so we’ll see.

St. Marys vs Villanova, the over at 131.5, Nova is pretty iffy covering overs, but they’re going to score a million points against St. Marys. Nova will probably cover the spread at 25 points, but that’s a tough trigger to pull. Sure, I pulled the trigger on the 22 point spread, like I said before, I’m an idiot.

FGCU vs FSU, the battle of the abbreviations, I actually took the under at 147.5, which means the over should hit by a million. Their collective unders have hit a total of 7 times, which makes me sort of worried about it hitting the over to break the streak, but I’m a firm believer in streaks only ending on odd numbers. Not really, but whatever. I also have FSU covering the 12 point spread, because why not?

VT vs Wisconsin, I’ve got the over at 136 as well as Wisconsin covering the small spread of 5.5 points. 136 just seems entirely too low not to bet.

Like I said before, this is Christmas for anyone with a gambling problem.

PS. anyone who wants to check up on me to make sure I’m alive, that would be greatly appreciated as I’m about to start drinking heavily and I’m not sure if I have food in the house.

PPS. If you don’t want to check up on me to make sure I’m OK, send nudes on snapchat- stephenowow


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