Tim Tebow’s career has been an emotional rollercoaster for me. He does all this weird shit and everyone just chalks it up to him being super religious and such a great person. First he went all four years at The University of Florida without touching a single boob. That right there makes me wildly upset. You’re the starting quarterback at one of the biggest football/party schools in America and you save yourself for marriage- whatever, fine. Then he makes it to the NFL and the whole ‘Tebowing’ craze starts. Then he leaves the NFL and just walks on to The Mets farm team-which as a Mets fan I guess I should be happy about- it will be nice having Jesus on our side for once.

His latest thing is that he wants to adopt a child from each continent to live in his house. This might be the weirdest fucking thing he’s done or wanted to do yet. You’re a grown man. You can’t just live with a bunch of little kids. You need to get married first for that not to be weird. Even then, it feels a little too much like collecting kids. Either way, I hope he holds Hunger Game like contests to see who gets picked to live with him.

Speaking of kids, Casey Anthony is back in the news.

And despite the fact that she probably did kill her child, she is still crazy hot. I know I’m going to catch some shit for this, but whatever. If you truly wouldn’t have sex with her you’re bananas crazy. Yea, she is beyond the tipping point on the crazy/hot scale, but still, remember those photos of her that leaked during the trial? Well nine years later she is still an absolute dime.

As of right now her hobbies include taking pictures of wildlife, being outdoors, and all of that super boring shit. She said she tries going out to bars and clubs but that when people find out it’s her they freak out and start taking pictures of her. She usually leaves right after that happens. Casey if you’re reading this and need a place to drink and let off steam shoot me an email, I have a nice house on the water, we can get shitbombed and no one will bother you.

Speaking of lunatics, some greasy hillbillies down south are all up in arms over Le Fou (From Beauty And The Beast) being gay. I’m a big fan of Disney movies so I’m not going to talk too much shit, but if that is offensive to you- you’re an asshole. I’m pretty sure in the original Belle fucks Beast, who at that point was still a donkey-horse or whatever the fuck he is. Also, at a glimpse, who doesn’t want to fuck Gaston? He’s a god damn stud. That thick neck, those broad shoulders, that luscious pony tail, his perfect jawline- anyone would be lucky to have him. I mean yea, his personality is pretty shitty, but I’m sure he still slings that dick.

I mean look at this guy, he fucks: