ScotchSquatch

This is absolutely the best online dating power move of all time. Between Tinder, Match.com, Plenty of Fish, that one if you’re Jewish, Farmers Only, and Adult Friend Finder it’s pretty easy to get lost in the crowd when searching for a significant other. That’s why this young stud took the high road. He recorded a Continue reading

Everyone should know how to properly defend themselves. There isn’t much worse than having the shit kicked out of you. And as someone who watches those Worldstar fight videos everyday I can without a doubt say most people don’t know how to defend themselves. Poland’s Army (yes, they have an Army, I checked) will be Continue reading

Every day I wake up and read something that weirds me out so much that it amazes me. The joy I get from people doing such weird shit on the internet is unreal. Like this article I just stumbled across: Why? A million times why? What do you get out of owning these? What do Continue reading

What a fucking title right? First let me say that taunting the homeless or fucking with them is a terrible thing. And before you jump on the all police are bad wagon you should know that it was his fellow officers that turned him in and ultimately a fellow officer that fired him. Seriously though, who Continue reading

I just read way too much of an article claiming that there are hidden advertisements all over the internet that are targeting young fatsos. I haven’t wanted to yell ‘who the fuck cares?’ so loudly in a long time. Every three commercials is for fast food. Wendy’s, Taco Bell, McDonalds, Burger King; whatever, I’m home Continue reading

Is Cam Newton really that confused as to why the refs don’t care that he gets starched every play after the whistle? He looks like someone who works at the photography place in the mall that takes his job super seriously. Just take the picture, I don’t need to hear about how you’re adjusting the exposure. That art Continue reading

There is nothing more devastating than losing a child, absolutely nothing. That being said, paying tribute to one is normally a beautiful way to remember your lost one forever. A tattoo on the arm maybe. Maybe on the back or chest. Maybe even on your thigh or calf- any one of these locations is acceptable. Continue reading

This is a real struggle writing this because of all the brain cells I absolutely starched this weekend with a bender that I’m sure grossed a few people out. It all started with what was supposed to be a fun, relaxing visit with some friends in Virginia. This is my weekend as I best remember Continue reading

CBS in an attempt to prove to their viewers how out of touch with reality they truly are just ordered a reality TV show based on the popular mobile game Candy Crush. Jesus Christ, that sentence hurt to type. As someone who is lousy with excellent television show ideas, this truly is painful. Not only Continue reading

When I wake up. Yea, you know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the one that wakes up next to you. When I get drunk. When I get drunk. Yea, you know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the one that gets drunk next to you. When I haiver, whatever that means, you know I’m Continue reading