The esteemed Judge Carlisle Greaves was residing over a murder trial in the Bahamas when he was struck with sudden horniness. As someone who routinely suffers from chronic horniness, this is way too relatable.

Let’s break this thing down so I can quickly prove to you folks (the jury) why the honorable Judge Carlisle didn’t do anything wrong. So apparently someone took the stand and had to tell a few graphic sex stories… that were somehow related to the murder.

So the judge did what any other rational adult would have done in that situation. He very kindly and eloquently announced how the sex stories made him horny.

Imagine this being said with a fun Bahamian accent (think Sebastian from The Little Mermaid):

“Hey Mon! All this sex is beginning to make me horny.”

(Let the record show that I may have added the ‘hey mon’)

How harmless was that?

He didn’t say that he had sprung a boner.

He didn’t yell that he had crafted an erection.

He didn’t proclaim that his bologna pony was fully inflated.

He didn’t declare that his soldier was ten-hut.

He didn’t holler that his pocket rocket was ready for liftoff.

He didn’t wail that his raging salmon had begun swimming up stream.

And he certainly didn’t announce that it got veiny.

He didn’t do any of those things.

He just honestly said, hey guys, this sex talk is getting me riled up.

I mean, he could have rubbed his joint under his sexy judge robe if he wanted too. But he didn’t. Not all heroes wear capes. Some just where robes and announce that someone telling a story made their dick hard.