The Weekend Roundup: Championship Weekend

This was a weekend filled with exciting football. Let’s jump right into it.

Gronkowski bonked his head again, which is no surprise to anyone since he uses it as the weapon it was intended to be. Here’s a picture of his lifeless body, is he concussed or taking a nap? No one knows, not even him.

gronkowski concussion

How do they even tell if Rob Gronskowski has a concussion? One of the things they look for while doing their concussion checklist is does the player have a blank or vacant stare…

gronk

Now you tell me, is that concussion Gronk? Happy Gronk? Sad Gronk? No one has a fucking clue. He spends his entire life in a state of confusion, the baseline for his concussion test has to be so low that if he barely stays awake for it he should be cleared for the game. There is no way Gronk misses the Super Bowl, concussed or not.

I’m pretty bummed that the Jaguars weren’t able to hold onto the lead, but I’m not surprised. I just think that Jaguar’s Eagles would have been a much better game. I don’t think there would have even been a spread, it would have just been a straight money line game.

If you want someone to thank for Philadelphia not burning to the ground look no further than the brave grease police who spent the entire day yesterday greasing up poles.

img_2549

This might be one of my favorite pictures of all time. A grown ass man walking around the city with yellow rubber dish gloves with a tub of Crisco literally lubing up all of the poles in Philly. What an incredible time to be alive. And thank god they did it too, because Philly absolutely trashed the Vikings. It was a Philly beat down so bad I’m shocked World Star didn’t post a video of it.

I love when Philly fans go crazy and wreck their own city. Last night while laying in bed I kept picturing the same thing. This old beat up Buick whose doors didn’t match. And in the front seat a guy with a wife beater tank top on covered in mustard and hot sauce stains. And next to him his fat girlfriend of eleven years on and off. And as they drive away from their friends house in Delco, PA, they look in their rear-view mirror to see the dumpster they set ablaze as they drunk drive home five blocks holding each other’s hot wing stained hands. I don’t know, it just seems so romantic.

I honestly don’t even know what’s going on in this picture…

eagles fan fucks horse

But by the looks of it, this guy just took this horse to Tony Luke’s for a cheesesteak and now the horse is playing hard to get.

Anyway, I’m going to spend the next two weeks watching videos of Pink singing the National Anthem so I know whether to take the over or the under on song duration.

Love you guys.

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1 Response to The Weekend Roundup: Championship Weekend

  1. Frankie Valli says:

    Another banger!!

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