I wanted to wait until the day after before blogging this because I wanted to wait to see what kind of gastric event would follow. And let me tell ya, not that bad. 

I decided to go with some slop bowl instead of a burrito. I went with beef, rice, corn salsa (which made an appearance later) hot sauce, guacamole, and sour cream. I forgot to get cheese because I’m an idiot. Also they didn’t ask me. Which is sort of on them. I told them I was a first timer and that was met with a blank stare. I was hoping they’d hold my hand, show me the ropes, you know- slide it in nice and easy. What I got was dry fucked by a cheese-less slop bowl. I should have taken a before picture, but this is what it looked like mid meal. 

It looked the same five hours later when it came screaming out of me. It almost happened in the car. Luckily I’ve got all star level clenching skills and I was able to make it to my home court toilet. 

This brings me to my favorite part of the meal. When this girl walked in without a bra on. My gawwddddd. I’m not even exaggerating when I say she had knockers. Like real life knockers. She had on a thin sweatshirt so everything was on display. She for sure knew what she was doing as she coyly smiled as she walked in. Literally everyone’s jaw dropped. 

OK, enough boner talk, back to the meal. All in all I give Chipotle a 8.69 out of 11. Would definitely eat again. And much like anytime you have a great meal, it’s important to let the staff know: