Steve
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I’m Going to Float Across The Bay This Summer
That’s right, ya boy is goin’ floatin’. My first thought was to swim it. But that seems like something I would have to practice for. And I’m not much of a practice guy. I’m more of a doin’ it kind of guy. Before you doubt me, I’m a seasoned Bay Bae I have easily ten… Continue reading
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The Scotchsquatch Snow Advisory For This Weekend: Threat Level Urgent
I have seen maybe 250 different snow maps for this weekends snowstorm, all very different. So as an expert in literally everything I decided to throw my hat in the ring. After studying the clouds, the sun, the moons (both ours and others) taking dirt samples, checking horoscopes, asking Jeeves, praying on it, and checking… Continue reading
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Taylor Swift Beat Me Out as Time’s Person of The Year
I’ll be honest, this one hurt pretty bad. It’s hard for me to not picture myself on that cover… Although, I would have dressed up a little nicer. I wouldn’t have worn a bathing suit or whatever the fuck that thing is. Anyway. Let’s take a look at what Taylor accomplished compared to what I’ve… Continue reading
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The ScotchSquatch Guide to Making Thanksgiving Memorable
Thanksgiving can be a high stress situation if you are hosting. Trying to time like 7 dishes you make once a year so they are all served hot sounds like a fucking nightmare. So if you’re hosting, I have no real advice for you, since I can’t imagine doing all of that drunk or stoned.… Continue reading
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Guy drinks piss and tries to blame his Grubhub driver
If you think about it, it’s a tale as old as time. People have been pissing since back when Jesus was curing leopards back in Nazareth. And now we’re gonna crucify this guy for accidentally mixing up his Chic Fil A piss cup with a customer’s Chic Fil A milkshake cup? Is there anything you… Continue reading
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Well I did it, I pulled off another classic prank!
It’s been a while since I tried to sign anyone up for the marines or sell someone’s car and I’ll be honest, my heart was feeling a little empty. Luckily I had the perfect target. My roommate was leaving for a business trip to Washington STATE. Now I couldn’t do my usual prank where I… Continue reading
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Ignacio Anaya: The Inventor of Nachos: An International Hero
I’ve blogged about a lot of “heroes” in the past. The dork that landed the plane in the Hudson, Joey Chestnut, the blind chick who wanted to fly across the country– but none have been as important to me as this guy: My sweet prince, Ignacio. So one day a bunch of military wives came… Continue reading
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The time I almost got kicked out of the dentists office
So this story takes place about 8 to 10(ish) years ago. I had to get two wisdom teeth pulled, but I was poor and without insurance. So I had to find a dentist that would do it on the cheap, this meant being fully awake for the procedure. It was less than ideal, but I… Continue reading
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I’m Proud to join other Celebrities in raising money for a great cause
I’m not sure if you people keep up with the news, but there is a major strike in Hollywood that is leaving a ton of people out of work. Its a national tragedy. So a lot of celebrities are raising money for the crew members of shows they work on, so I decided to join… Continue reading
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The Diarrhea Plane Debacle
Alright everyone, get off your fucking high horses. This literally could have happened to anyone of us. If you’re a normal, regular person, this could have happened to you. So before you pass judgement on this brave unfortunate soul, imagine yourself in their shorts. Diarrhea running down your leg like and landing in your slide… Continue reading
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