If I had to describe the Super Bowl halftime show in one word I would describe it as great. If I had to describe it in two words, I’d describe it was very great. It was perfect. Shakira and JLo are two incredibly talented, strong, smart women. That being said, lets get to some horny talk.

They did some dancing, they shook those great cabooses in not a ton of clothes and you know what? It was awesome. I went through two different condoms during the halftime show. First time I’ve done that since Prince.

Some people however, did not love the halftime show as much as I did. They probably didn’t even go through one condom. Lets roll through some great complaints.

What a comment! This woman is 100 percent the kind of person that finds out someone was raped and asks, “Well what were they wearing?” Listen lady, when people like Shakira, JLo or I dress like that, it’s not because we want someone to ‘jump our bones’. It’s because we feel sexy, and we want to show off the bodies we work so hard for.

I love that he clarified that this “Has nothing to do with race”. I was 100 percent positive something racist was going to follow. Was sure this was one of those, “I’m not a racist but, [something super racist]. This persons sentence structure was top notch too. Family oriented wasn’t considered! What a dipshit.

Listen lady, your 15 year old son had an absolute blast during the halftime show. I can promise you he is going to be watching highlights of it for the next few weeks as you 100 percent seem like the kind of person who blocks websites on her sons phone. Also, imagine being an adult and covering your eyes during this halftime show? Like it was that offensive to you that you had to SHIELD YOUR EYES! How on earth do you watch movies? Or do you only watch movies that are rated G?

What a wild turn this comment took my lord! Went right from they are both talented artists right to children being abducted and pets getting fucked? What a comment! I promised myself I wouldn’t attack the pictures of these people. But I mean, this woman only mentioned fucking pets because she clearly fucks her pets right? Maybe let’s start a Go-Fund-Me for this woman’s Labrador and we can buy it’s freedom. No one deserves to get fucked by this lady.

I don’t know who this Dave guy is but he sounds like a real fucking idiot. Yes, please sue the NFL because your fruit punch mustache stained kid got a boner during a halftime show. He also got a boner when he was rubbing his mule through his sweatpants in geography class. You gonna sue his elderly teacher too, you dipshit.

Give me a break losers. If you got offended by the half time show please, please, lose my phone number and lighten the fuck up. Life’s too short to not enjoy some butt shaking.