ScotchSquatch

Alright everyone, get off your fucking high horses. This literally could have happened to anyone of us. If you’re a normal, regular person, this could have happened to you. So before you pass judgement on this brave unfortunate soul, imagine yourself in their shorts. Diarrhea running down your leg like and landing in your slide sandals as you speed walk to the toilet. Poop water splashing off your sandal all over the place. People screaming in terror as little bits of shits graze them.

Alright, now that-that is out of the way, I can get to the real story, as I am a legit journalist.

So there was a plane headed to Europe from somewhere in America and someone got real butt sick on it and got ‘rrhea all over the place and the plane had to turn around because no one could breathe and they couldn’t clean it.

Now the plane rerouting, I feel might be a little dramatic. Like sure, it was probably absolutely horrifyingly bad smelling. But come on, even when stuff is real horrifyingly bad, it’s still kind funny to smell it. When I first heard the story, I couldn’t believe that they turned the plane around. They said cleaning it didn’t work. And I thought well that’s weird. Because like, you can just clean it up or even rip the carpet out, and then just dump bleach all over it. And it would at least be tolerable.

That’s when I finally saw the pictures and realized how they tried to clean.

First off, job well done whoever made that mess. Doesn’t even look like you were trying to hold it. Because in terms of volume, it looks like maybe you were pushing.

Anyway, that’s not how you clean shit. You don’t clean shit like you just spilled water on the floor of someone else’s house. You can’t just toss a paper towel down and walk away hoping for the best. You gotta scoop the poop! It’s not a glamorous job, but someone has to do it. You know how many vacations this ruined because someone didn’t want to clean up shit?

Now you’re probably wondering, ScotchSquatch you’re a hero, would you have helped clean up if you were on that plane?

And to answer that truthfully, I have to say no. But that’s only because I would have literally died from laughing.