19 Year Old Student Gets Engaged To 76 Year Old Billionaire

And it’s probably not what you think.

My fucking man! Looking sharped dressed in what I assume Wyatt Earp would have worn if he was born in Italy.

This dudes gonna be picking moth balls out of his mouth all the way to Ibiza.

Slinging dick to a 76 year old woman is probably easier than filling out financial aid paperwork these days. I wouldn’t know though- I went to college on a scholarship because I’m smart and handsome.

Listen, maybe they are in love, and they can overcome their 57 year age gap. Or maybe this kid just wants a few free vacations and is interested in learning about the Korean war.

The kid in question, Guiseppe D’Anna, 19, and his fiancé, whose name I couldn’t find- so we’ll just call her BagOfMilk, haven’t set a day yet- but I would urge them to set it for sooner rather than later.

The nice thing about dating someone in their late 70’s is that you don’t have to remember very many friends names. I know that has always been an issue for me in the past. Most of the time when people are being introduced to me I’m not actually listening, I’m busy crafting insults tailored for them in the chance that they say something rude to me that night. I am always ready.

Honestly though, I’m happy for this 76 year old. She gets to get stuffed like manicotti by some little Italian hunk deep into her golden years.

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