It’s been a long time since I’ve cyber-bullied anyone and honestly, I feel like I’ve earned this one. I’ve been a good boy since Tony Danza got me kicked off Twitter for 12 hours, so consider this my welcome back party to the bad boy life.

This guy is officially the first person inducted into The Scotchsquatch Dot Com Dipshit Hall Of Fame.

So I’m minding my own business, mindlessly scrolling the internet, when this fucking guy pops up on screen. Apparently he was on some kind of Soviet version of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. My godddddddddd that hair.

How? Just how does this happen? I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone go bald in this preposterous of a manner. The thin spikes up top or the bangs would be pretty great on their own, but when combined… my god what a delight. Honestly though, this guys head is so bulbous and gigantic that even if he wasn’t balding he probably wouldn’t have enough hair to cover the entire thing. He would need to buy two wigs and at least one merkin to cover that massive bulb of a head.

I’m just going to assume that this guy cuts his own hair, but if he doesn’t whoever did this needs to have their scissors taken away and they need to be punished. Or maybe his hair dresser is literally a blind person. Why would any one have hair like this when hats exist? A combover wouldn’t be as bad. If you’re gonna have this hair style, you should at least dye it bleach blonde. That way people think you’re just one of Guy Fieri’s idiot fans and everyone will just ignore you. But this, this is just totally unacceptable.

Anyway, congrats to this moron for being the first ever inductee into the Scotchsquatch Dot Com Dipshit Hall of Fame

PS photoshopping that took me twenty minutes and a phone call to my friend.

PSPS this makes two blog posts in two days. A lot of people are calling me the hardest working person on the internet since that cuck Mark Zuckerberg.