So as all of my avid readers know, I’ve been in the middle of a feud with Tony Danza for years. Now the basis of this feud isn’t important, what’s important is that it’s totally necessary and definitely a two way street. If you don’t know about the feud you can read about it at the bottom of this blog**. But you don’t have to, just know that this feud is very real and for sure 100 percent mutual.

So last night, while sick (please send thots and prayers) on my couch I decided I’d send out some random tweets. So I’m scrolling through Twitter and I see this picture:

Well if it isn’t Fucking Tony Micelli as I live and breathe over here playing Pizza Hut with a muscle shirt on. I hope his families favorite pizza topping is greasy black and grey armpit hair, because they’re about to eat a ton of it.

So for accidentally telling Tony Danza to suck my dick I received a 12 hour Twitter ban.

They made me delete the tweet and once I did my 12 hour ban began. Creating a 12 hour dark age on Twitter as well as leaving me no where to put my late night weird thoughts, so here they are in all of their glory.

Things I couldn’t tweet while the ban was in effect:

-Mommy should really be spelled ‘mommee’.

-Do dogs have a dominant paw? Like are some dogs lefty and some dogs righty.

-Is there a shrimp cocktail eating competition somewhere? I think I could win.

-How come King Kong has like 50 movies and Donkey Kong doesn’t even have one? Even the loser Baldwin brothers get handouts every now and then. How strained is the Kong bros relationship? Come on King, hook your brother up.

-Why aren’t there breakfast appetizers? French toast sticks would be dope. Waffle sticks? Sure. Pancake sticks? Totally. Round of sticks for me and the boys at brunch.

Do you see what the world missed out on Tony Danza? Think about that the next time you hit the report button.

**I thought it would be funny to just be in a feud with random celebrities. So a few months ago I began starting shit with Tony Danza and Tony Hawk. Both of their names being Tony is totally a coincidence.