It’s official, my heart is absolutely broken. I knew it was coming and I did nothing about it. I feel like Captain Edward J Smith. I saw the iceberg coming and didn’t do a damn thing about it, I let the ship just bash right into it. I could have done a Go Fund Me for KMart, or a Kickstarter. Anything. Anything to keep them open for a few more days.

Where am I supposed to go to get extra husky Route 66 jeans?

Where am I supposed to go to get unofficial Official Adam Levine T-shirts?

What if I’m really in the mood for diarrhea? Where am I supposed to get a Little Caesars hot N ready pizza pie?

What if I want to pay double the price for a car tire that’s going to blow out and send my purple Saturn careening into a highway divider?

Where am I supposed to go shopping when I leave my house and realize far too late I don’t have shoes or a shirt on?

Where am I supposed to go? What am I supposed to do?

I have a million questions and no answers.

KMart has gone the way of all the terrific stores before it. Caldor? Gone, but still in our hearts. Quiznos? Haven’t seen one in years. Blockbuster? No where to rent bum fight VHS tapes anymore. Pathmark? Gone. May she rest in piece. Pathmark was especially tough for me to deal with as they had a loose candy section I had been making my bitch in the years prior to it closing. Actually I’m pretty sure the reason Pathmark closed was because of all the money they lost on sour worms. I never went in there without helping myself to at least a handful or six.