This Weeks Melon Crush Monday…

If someone could help me come up with a better Melon Crush Monday logo than this one I made in five minutes, that would be awesome. As for now it’s going to remain a set of melons with owls for nipples. Or as I call it a set of melons/hooters.


Anyway, we’ve officially taken back the night. Melon Crush Mondays are definitely a thing now. Danielle Fishel/Topanga Lawrence was the inaugural winner and this week we’re coming back just as strong, maybe even stronger. Drum roll please…..


Jennifer Love Hewitt, the star and total babe from Can’t Hardly Wait, where she played Amanda Beckett, the hottest girl in school that some nerd was absolutely obsessed with. I think she said like eleven words in the movie and she absolutely stole the show.

She somehow managed to get even more attractive with age:

Jennifer Love Hewitt on The Client List Set

That body is absolutely bananas for a 38 year old.


I just spent the past few minutes on her Wikipedia page and I just found out she is also a very talented singer as well. In 1995 she released her sophomoric album entitled, Let’s Go Bang, with the single being of the same name. I’m listening to Let’s Go Bang on

YouTube right now, and let’s take a quick look at those lyrics:

“Before the groove hits
The move you want it to
And Uncle Funk wants
It over tonight
So just dance along to
Wherever they take you tonight
You just bang it all up and out
Bang it all on time
Let the beat let the beat be your lover
Free your mind, let the beat take you over
Throw all inhibitions up into the wind
Let’s go bang
I want to go bang
Let’s go bang
I want to go bang
Let’s go bang
I want to go bang
Let’s go bang
I wanna”
I’m not sure who Uncle Funk is, but I’m a big fan. Also, hearing her sing “Lets go bang” is a pretty big turn on.
From now on when people think of the worlds greatest lyricists, Lennon, McCartney, Dylan, you’re going to have to throw Jennifer Love Hewit into that mix for sure.
But seriously, you could sing like Fran Drescher and as long as you look like this, you’re going to be just fine.
Us Weekly and Rolling Stone Oscar Party - Arrivals


Thank you for everything you do Jennifer Love Hewitt, I’ll be wrecking my dick with gnarled arthritic hands when I’m deep into my silver years at the thought of you.

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