The Las Vegas Raiders

“The Las Vegas Raiders”- there is absolutely zero ring to that. At least when the Rams moved to the city of angels it had a ring to it, people have been talking about the good old days when LA had a football team forever.

Today on a 31-1 vote, with the Dolphins being the only no vote, the Raiders are officially moving to the gambling capital of the world. I can’t believe that 31 owners voted yes on something that puts men in their 20’s with a ton of disposable income in a place with 24 hour gambling. Way to work on cleaning up your image, NFL. I can’t wait for the first report of a player getting caught in a strip club the Friday before a game until 3am. Commissioner Adolph Goodell is going to be slinging $25k conduct detrimental fines like they’re flapjacks at IHOP. Sorry, I had IHOP today and it’s literally all I’m thinking about as my body prepares for what I can only describe as thunderous diarrhea.

I feel bad for the players too. Not as bad as I feel for Phillip Rivers having to relocate his 17 children to the most expensive city in America, but still pretty bad. The stadium is going to fill up every week with people who are traveling to Vegas to see their favorite teams play. So their home games aren’t going to be real home games. That stadium is going to see more drunken frat boy fights than a Buffalo Wild Wings when they air a UFC fight.

On a positive note, I hear Las Vegas has some really top notch hair stylists, so maybe Mark Davis can work on that 1980’s European terrorist haircut he’s been sporting since forever:

mark davis

Mark Davis is absolutely the richest man with an Amish Boy haircut.

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