Meth, Monks, and Monasteries

A Thai monastery had to close it’s doors because a bunch of monks were pinched for doing meth…

Of all the drugs that you’d assume monks take- meth was maybe at the bottom of that list. Weed? Sure. Shrooms? Probably. Opium? Absolutely.

But meth? Why on earth would these lunatics be doing meth when trapped in a monastery? Meth is something you do when you’re in Florida visiting your cousin. Or you’re in Arizona- for literally any reason. But trapped in a monastery with a bunch of other religious dorks and you’re going to give meth a whirl? Just seems like a waste of perfectly good meth. Especially since there is no one to rob- I don’t think monks have any cool possessions unless you’re a big fan of flowing orange ill fitting robes.

As the proud journalist I am- I have a lot of questions:

What were this monks doing that made the higher up monks want to drug test them?

Is meth a big problem in the monk community?

Do you think if you let these monks fuck they wouldn’t be doing meth?

Is being a monk fun at all?

I see that these monks have been un-monkified-punishment fits the crime- I get it, but does that come with any negative legal consequences? Or is it just like, ok you can go have fun now and not dress like a shit head?

I’ll be honest, with that line of questioning I’d be shocked if 60 minutes doesn’t reach out and offer me some kind of position on their writing staff or even better, let me host it. Fire those skeletons and let me take over.

Honestly I’m just jealous. I have to stress every day about what black v-neck I’m going to wear and which one of my two pairs of jeans I’m going to wear. Meanwhile these monks don’t have to make any of the hard fashion decisions like I have to.

Honestly good for these monks.

Hunter S. Thompson said he couldn’t advocate drugs…

But I can. Just do the right ones, stupid.

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