So I’ve been hitting the gym a lot lately in my quest to no longer be a fat shit and to get back to just being a big dude. There’s a difference folks. A big difference. Anyway, so I’ve been using the elliptical a lot mixed with riding the bike and using various machines that I don’t exactly understand how to use. Now this isn’t some long humble brag to let everyone in internet land know I’ve been working out and you should send nudes. What this is, is a confession.

So it all started yesterday when I was telling my best bud that I’m a little tired from working out. Now up until this point, I’m not sure if I’d ever typed out the word elliptical. The reason I’m not sure of this is because I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how to spell it. Have you ever spelt something so wrong that spell check is just like, “we’ve got no fucking idea you idiot!” and they offer ZERO suggestion on how to fix it. Well that’s where I was yesterday. This is what I went with before I was corrected:

Olyptical.

Yes, I’m a fucking idiot.

But in my defense I said it like this:

Oh-Lip-Tickle

Which, after telling this to the person I was speaking with, she told me that those words together were fucking disgusting. Something about lip and tickle together was gross.

Now I’ve been saying this word a lot lately. To my personal trainer, to my friends, to literally anyone who I could brag about working out too. And no one corrected me and I don’t know why.

Oh-Lip-Tickle

Elliptical

Olyptical

I still like my way better.