Big news late last night on Twitter as everyone’s favorite absolute creep of a Senator liked a porn tweet:

I mean obviously I’m going to ignore Ted Cruz when he blames this on a staffer. Ted Cruz absolutely seems like exactly the type of guy who scours Twitter for porn and then likes and comments on them. He also seems like the kind of guy who comments on pictures of Instagram models and writes things like, “Oh my god babe ur so beautiful”, thinking that one day it might get him noticed.

Also, I’ve watched that porn before and it’s fantastic. I think the mom come’s home and finds her step daughter or whatever getting deep dicked by her boyfriend. The mom catches a look at the boyfriends hog and is all like, “Gotta have me some of that” and then sex happens. (  .  )  (  .  )   Sorry I’m a child. But boobs are great and this porn has four of them. I’ll even hit the porno with an authentic ScotchSquatch For Sure Watch™.

Politics aside, I think Ted Cruz looks like a creepy piece of shit.

Uh oh what’s that siren?

We’ve got a big dick alert!

Everyone’s favorite big dicked movie star is back in the news today. Liams Neesons has officially retired from action movies.

No fucking kidding, you’re like 65 years old. No one expects you to keep churning out shitty action movies. We begged you to stop after Taken 2: The Takening or whatever the fuck that dumb movie was called. Honestly, it’s gotta be pretty tough running and jumping with that big monster between his legs. Rumor has it that Liams Neesons has a big 10 incher between his thighs. As an average white guy who would have to measure both sides of his dick to get those numbers, fuck you Liams Neesons, fuck you.

Also, 85 percent of this blog was about big dicks. So you’re welcome.