Bahhston Caught Cheating… Again

Well, well, well, what a surprise, another Bahhston area team is caught cheating. This time it’s the Red Sawwxx who are under the gun. Taking a page out of the Belichick playbook, John Farrell decided it would be fun to steal signs from the Yankees using Apple watches. Regular sign stealing, I’m all on board with, I wish the Mets would give it a whirl. But to use smart watches to do it, that’s just a scum bag move. Classic Boston.

Here is a picture of the assistant in question and his wife clearly using an Apple product to cheat:

I’m not sure if you can totally blame Farrell for doing this though. I mean, he’s using Apple products exactly how they were intended to be used when Steve Jobs created them, to fuck other people over. And who better to fuck over than their arch rivals, the Yankees.

Shoutout to Krista for yelling at me to write about this. She wasn’t mad at me or anything, she just always yells. She only has one volume.

There’s a gigantic storm headed for Florida

Please, residents of South Florida, prepare for the worst as this storm will be the worst thing to happen to you guys since the Jay Cutler signing. Jay Cutler hasn’t played a full season since 2009 and they just threw 10 million dollars at him to play for one season in the wake of the Tannehill injury. So essentially the Cutlet just got paid 10 million dollars to get hurt the first game and then ride the sideline all year. Seriously Miami, you just spent 10 million dollars on this because you’re too much of a racist to sign Kaepernick:

Kaepernick might not stand for the national anthem, but Cutler won’t be standing after he gets his diabetic socks knocked off after his first hit. See what I did there? That’s word play, sort of.

A Quick Humble Brag to Finish up…

That’s right, Diamond Dallas Page, THE Diamond Dallas Page, of the WWE (formerly the WWF) now follows me on Twitter. No big deal. Just moving up in the world one celebrity follow at a time. Now you’re probably wondering why he follows me. Well, DDP started a yoga company that is actually helping a lot of people. So people are tweeting him every day saying stuff like, “Thank you for making DDP Yoga, I can now do [Insert basic daily function] with no pain at all.” So he is always responding to these people. So I tweeted him how he’s helped me:

DDP obviously has a pretty good sense of humor, I mean, he follows me on Twitter after all.