“Big News” this week, Amelia Earhart is back on the front page for the first time since the last time the ghosts running her PR team pulled out some ‘new’ news. Apparently a photo has turned up that shows her partying or whatever with some Japanese captors.

What a clear and accurate photograph. As you can see there is clearly a person in this photo, so why not make it good ol’ Emelia? I don’t want to diminish her courageous act of flying an airplane over some water, but come on, it’s been like a million years, who gives a fuck? People with mustard stained sweat-pants in airplanes fly over the ocean every single day now, it’s not a big deal anymore.

Now, lets get to a more relevant story.

Chris Christie is still not giving a shit about how people view him and it’s making him sort of likeable now. He just closed all of the beaches in Jersey over some budget bullshit, so what does he do? He parks his big round ass on a closed beach all day.

My theory behind this is actually pretty sound. So yea, Chris Christie is really playing up the bad boy role, but why? What does he have to gain by constantly being in the news for doing weird shit? Well do you remember that for the longest time when you Googled Chris Christie this came up?

That’s a world class camel toe. It’s so thick and pronounced it might actually be a moose knuckle- not a camel toe, whatever though, I’m not a crotch scientist. There’s a theory going around the internet that Chris Christie is doing all of these weird shit because the more new stories there are, the further this picture gets buried. And the further it gets buried then the sooner his wife might sleep with him again.