ScotchSquatch

I’m not sure if you people keep up with the news, but there is a major strike in Hollywood that is leaving a ton of people out of work. Its a national tragedy.

So a lot of celebrities are raising money for the crew members of shows they work on, so I decided to join in and help them. ***

I’m really excited to be one of the celebrities that made the cut for this post.

I’m in some pretty good company.

Now this is a real bargain, the original Batman will walk your dog for an hour.

I can’t believe people are bidding on 20 minutes/20 questions with Katie Holmes. Just give the people 20 questions and don’t put a time limit on it. Did I say how long I would let people watch me eat Doritos? No I didn’t, I’m just going to eat them until I get sick. I’m even willing to break my diet for this. People know Doritos are a trigger for me. One handful and I’m back at Taco Bell doing unthinkable things for a Chalupa.

Now unlike the other celebrities, I am giving people plenty of options for me to do things to raise more money. Here is a list of things I’m willing to do:

-Grab a drink with you (on your dime)

-Let you write a blog with me

-Let you draw me naked, like that hot scene in Titanic

-You can watch me take apart something of yours and try and put it back together

-We can go to the store together to replace whatever I broke of yours (on your dime)

-Let you make my next few car payments

I’m open to pretty much anything.

So here is my venmo- @ Stephen-Sorrentino let’s get rolling folks.

*** any and all money raised by me will go directly towards me trying to get a new jet ski