ScotchSquatch

Let’s start off with some pleasantries:

Happy New Year, folks.

I keep seeing across social media that people are over or done with New Year’s resolutions. I assume this is because every year, you pick hard resolutions, like losing 50 pounds or quitting smoking cigarettes.

I’ve been there before too. You start the year off strong, avoiding cigarettes, and eating healthy. Then you mess up one idle Tuesday and have a cigarette or accidentally eat Taco Bell. Then, before you know it you’re cranking cigarettes and horking down burritos. It’s a slippery slope.

Anyway, I’m here to tell you, that it’s OK to have realistic resolutions. Here are my New Years Resolutions:

1. Try and update my cell phone plan
2. Not be as rude to people online this year as I was last year (but if they really deserve it’s fine to let them have it)
3. Eat more soup
4. Try to make longer, more productive lists (4 or more items, but 4 is perfectly fine)

Now I’m not saying my resolutions will work for you- but I can tell you I’m absolutely going to accomplish at least 50 percent of that list. The trick is to not deal in absolutes. Instead of saying you want to lose 50 pounds this year as your resolution, just make your resolution, “Try and maybe be healthier”. Or if your resolution is to update your cell phone plan, make it, “Try to update my cell phone plan”.

If you’re still having trouble making resolutions because you aren’t good at thinking or for some other reason, I’ve come up with a handful that you can have or use as jumping-off points:

1. Listen to more Steve Winwood
2. Make more deviled eggs
3. Try and learn the words to The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald by Gordon Lightfoot (if for some reason you already don’t know them)
4. Venmo $20 to someone who’s website you like reading
5. Look for a new hobby
6. Consider learning a new language

Remember, if you aim for the moon you’re going to miss it because you’re a person, not a rocket ship. If you aim down the street though you can just walk or drive there.

I hope you have a great 2025 and you’re able to accomplish some of your goals for this year.